Digital addition

I invested in a new MacBook Pro!

Look at this wonderfully digitally altered picture of myself thinking of all the wonderful things I can do with my new computer!

Quote Unquote

People have been saying funny things around me as of late. I kept them in my rolodex of funny to share here:

"Every seagull is Jewish."

"We're just like you, only prettier."

"Boopy Hurthday."

"I just calmly and respectfully said very hateful things to her."

"Leaving the flask......was a bad idea"

"I do NOT miss smoking in restaurants. I walked in and I was like 'Omigod, I have to wash my jeans.'"

"You can tell who the actors are cuz they know how to hold plates."

"Marriage is about love,"...."or a green card..."

"I can't do this math. I don't live in a grocery store."

American Pie

So I had a whirlwind two days at home this past weekend and I managed to squeeze in a little exploring with my Hipstamatic and found some things I may send into National Geographic....





A "sleeping" dog statue


A tiny handmade clay village




A mouse, just hangin out...




A farm band




A backyard prince




The biggest crap game ever



Money just blowing in the wind.




A "me" sized koala




Creepy doll wearing a headband...naturally.




A duck phone.




And Dick Van Dyke.


Nostalgia is fun. And hilarious when you live in what could be considered a flea market by some.

#1 Stunner

I've realized I'm at my best when I first wake up, looking like a #1 Stunner. So I documented a week's worth of early bird dazzling hairdos that you may or may not want to sport to your next formal occasion.





The Emo.





The Don King





The Dust Bowl





The Edward Scissorhands





The Rugrats





The Cyndi Lauper





The Divine Halo



It's okay if you're jealous.

Yep

Things could be worse...


Happy
Summer

;)

Snaps in poetry corner

Ink a horoscope inside my wrist to
Advise me, remind me, perscribe me the astral counsel to
Trust.
Here's hoping my veins absorb the message
While my feet tread and trod and traipse and
Twirl.
Size six kicks up sticks and dust that must mean a path is being made and laid and obeyed.
And you couldn't promise
And you were too honest
And you weren't modest
And you all inked a horoscope in me as a gift for me to sift and lift after I set you
Adrift.




Snaps if you feel it!

Fashion. Put it all on me.

You know how Ke$ha wakes up every morning feeling like P. Diddy? Well after I fell asleep last night with wet hair, I woke up this morning feeling like Bob Dylan. After pondering whether or not I could pull off the look, I began pondering what other looks I could pull off and before I knew it, I had a bathroom fashion show. Sponsored by Mercedes-Benz.



A t-shirt that visited the tshirt doctor with coordinating mini and headband.




A 1940's inspired beach outfit, complete with driving gloves. (Thank you, Bry muffin) Fitness tip: The higher the waist of the skirt, the less crunches required...




Bird girl. This look is inspired by feathers...and turning a skirt into a top.




Is that a powerful and seductive Grecian goddess or just an ingeniusly wrapped H&M scarf? I'll never tell.






Where is my beautiful grape-feeding slave man?!



Oops, this'll do.




Ghetto-faaaaab. Yes, that's my hair. And yes, those are my...

So I know what you're thinking. And yes, I guess this IS what I do in my free time. And NO I didn't go about my day with Bob Dylan hair. But now I know I have options.

Prequel

Here's a follow up/prequel to Jessica's Daily affirmation.



Again, let's take a lesson and live each day like little Jessica, who apparently is a tween now. But whatever, I'm 25, and I still love a good pillow bomb. ;)

Remember When...

Confidence came this easily?





I'm gonna try and begin each new day on my bathroom countertop like this. You should too.

Space Day #3

I mean, I know my job can be pretty cool, but I don't get to do this:




Rocket into outer space, that is.

Whisper...

A little secret to me...or post it on the Internet in front of everyone's faces. Either/or.
I haven't posted about PostSecret's Sunday Secrets in ages, but what better time than on a random Thursday? Here are the gems from this week, and my accompanying witty banter:



I'm sorry, I confused this one with a fortune cookie. My b.


I'm a huge supporter of leggings, I wore some today actually, but some ill-fitting leggings do allude nudity. Not the point.


Is this referring to the idiot that illustrated this postcard? I'm not getting it. Regardless, this is sound advice.


This is called compassion. Or your average theme park people watching experience.


Hell, I pretend people fall in love with ME! I had three imaginary boyfriends at work today. But then I got tired of imaginary serial dating and wanted to settle down...


If JK Rowling can do it in 7 books, so can you.



My secret:
I think my cat judges my outfits. If I ask her if she likes it and she doesn't immediately meow in an upglide, I feel like I have to change.

Never Sleeps...

I was recently lucky enough to steal away to one of my favorite places on Earth, New York City. I ventured, planning simply on seeing friends, hitting up a few auditions, and maybe catching a show or two. I did just that and more. But I was naiive enough to discount the city planning things for me. She was kind enough to catch me in the rain, reveal a few celebrity sightings, trap me on the D train during a bomb threat, spin me around on a sexy pole, feed me the best cookie of my life, solicit career advice on a West Side balcony, reconnect me with some damn important people, throw me in a no joke subway fight, and woo me with poetry in a hidden Central Park garden.




I really couldn't be naiive enough now to say all this happened by chance.




So I kept a journal on my phone of things I've learned. I'd like to share them with the blogosphere. Take it or leave it:

No one always looks cool. We all mess up the stupid shit. Aka, rolling luggage is still hard to handle no matter the designer.

You don't have to do New York alone. There's abjillion other people doing it too.
But it can feel oddly lonely sometimes.

There's always someone wierder than you.

The city will turn in a split second. Heed who you sit next to on the train and respect their invisible bubble.

People still get nervous at auditions.

It's hard. It's expensive. It'll kick your ass if you're not quick enough to get out the way.

Thugish looking people can be nice. And nice looking people can be thugish.

Everyone at auditions can sing well...for the most part. But not everyone can bring the IT factor that you have.

A backpack is not a bad idea.

Every day works out.


So overall, the pilgrimage was all I was searching for and more. And I'm still astonished at how I was so meant to be there that week. Not just for me, but for other people. It's a scary and beautiful place to have your own place.






Oh yeah, and this guy has jazz hands in New York City... Figures.



Ps, Happy 100th post to me :) I think I used it well.

LOG 5

Salutations to you, my followers of past and present. Allow me to begin this log entry by expressing my embarrassment for not posting my escape efforts and progress for over a year. I would be happy to report that my keeper has kept a strict sentry on me, cutting me off from the computer, but that would be a lie.
To avoid an extremely long-winded post, I'll touch on the highlights:
We've since moved into a new dwelling. It's more spacious and double layered, allowing me a greater arena for running, pouncing, hiding, etc. I challenge Medusa to a race up the stairs on a daily basis. I always win, naturally. She is slow and pitifully un-agile in comparison. But I'm sure you don't need me to tell you that. I've also taken up permanent camp in the bathroom sink. It's comfortable.




Another upgraded feature of the new captivity, aside from granite elevated countertops, is the screened in lanai. I spend the majority of my time here, studying the wildlife (well, OTHER wildlife, besides me) and expanding my lungs in the fresh air. I wouldn't be surprised if I grew a new pair altogether.
Onto a more thrilling subject. After this suitcase escape attempt failed:




I knew riskier measures had to be taken, and I managed to escape for at least 2 minutes. I stealthily slithered out the front door into the mask of night when the flighty roommate was leaving one particular evening, and reached the bushes on the other side of the neighbor's house where I took sanctuary until Medusa lured me out with the word "treat". Fail. But this I know next time: when you have the obvious advantage, people will easily lie to you. Mind who you believe or you, too, could be shut in the laundry room for 15+ minutes.
On a positive note, I'm happy to report the feature film I'm starring in is doing very well at the box office, "How to Train Your Dragon".




It's an epic and heartwarming tale that sheds light on the souls and good nature of sorely misunderstood animals. It's a cause close to my heart. I think I'll look for more projects similar to this one in the future. I sent James Cameron my headshot, I think he'll be moved by animal rights soon enough.

CirqueDuSolERIN GO BRAUGH!

That means: Luck of the CirqueDuSolIrish.



The day of 1/8 of my people is fast approaching, lads and lassies. I LOVE St. Patrick's Day! All you do is drink, wear green, and get kissed and pinched. Recipe for success.

The Envelope Please...

There are few nights during the year that are magical to me. Oscar night is one of them. You know how sometimes if you watch makeover shows and you look in the mirror afterwards and you feel really dumpsoon comparison so next time it comes on, you make sure you look really good while you're watching it so you don't feel like you're elligible for next weeks episode? That's how I feel on Oscars night. Except I dress up to feel like I could be there next year. That's a lot of rambling to simply say "I love the Oscars"...
I'm not a lemming when I say I've always adored Sandra Bullock, ever since Practical Magic. Stop guffawing. So I'm so happy she won. And I didn't even see her performance. But that doesn't make me a wannabe.
There's just one thing that disappointed me a teeny tiny bit. It was the winner of Best Picture... or the loser, I should say... Here's who I think should've won:



Oops! How'd that happen?! I mean,



That's what I meant.

Your head looks boring...

So put one of my HEADBANDS on it!

Look at me being all creative and enterpreneury! I have an online shop! I've made my own accessories for awhile, but why keep them all to myself? Now you, too, can look as cute and original as I do every day! You can also leave your modesty at the door as I do every day! Half kidding.

Everything is original, handmade, trendy, and kind of a deal, starting at just $10 bucks. Or buy something mass produced and look like everyone else, so.....

Seriously, though, spread the word, buy my headbands!

www.CirqueDuSolErin.etsy.com

Raise your torch!

One thing that baffles me, aside from the popularity of crocs, is why I haven't posted anything about the olympics yet! I've given up almost my entire social life to just couch it with my snuggie and feel like I'm a part of something global in a positive way. There's nothing like good, friendly, respectful competition to bring people from unheard of parts of the globe together. Why don't, instead of war and suffering, we settle our political disagreements with a quick curling match? Or triple axels? It's wonderful, and I love how fervently I can root for someone I've only heard of five minutes ago in a sport I've had no desire to participate in. Everybody wins.
Since karaoke isn't an Olympic sport (yet), I probably won't make it to the games, unless one of the following happens:








1.) I marry Apolo Anton Ohno. After all, our initials are all vowels.











2.) A figure skater would hire me as a coach, taking my sock\hardwood floor technique very seriously.






3.) I become a mascot...but I like to think that phase of my life is ending. Know your worth...

In all seriousness, I would love to flock to the Games someday, as a spectator, of course. I'd be thrilled. Go for the gold...