Salutations to you, my followers of past and present. Allow me to begin this log entry by expressing my embarrassment for not posting my escape efforts and progress for over a year. I would be happy to report that my keeper has kept a strict sentry on me, cutting me off from the computer, but that would be a lie.
To avoid an extremely long-winded post, I'll touch on the highlights:
We've since moved into a new dwelling. It's more spacious and double layered, allowing me a greater arena for running, pouncing, hiding, etc. I challenge Medusa to a race up the stairs on a daily basis. I always win, naturally. She is slow and pitifully un-agile in comparison. But I'm sure you don't need me to tell you that. I've also taken up permanent camp in the bathroom sink. It's comfortable.
Another upgraded feature of the new captivity, aside from granite elevated countertops, is the screened in lanai. I spend the majority of my time here, studying the wildlife (well, OTHER wildlife, besides me) and expanding my lungs in the fresh air. I wouldn't be surprised if I grew a new pair altogether.
Onto a more thrilling subject. After this suitcase escape attempt failed:
I knew riskier measures had to be taken, and I managed to escape for at least 2 minutes. I stealthily slithered out the front door into the mask of night when the flighty roommate was leaving one particular evening, and reached the bushes on the other side of the neighbor's house where I took sanctuary until Medusa lured me out with the word "treat". Fail. But this I know next time: when you have the obvious advantage, people will easily lie to you. Mind who you believe or you, too, could be shut in the laundry room for 15+ minutes.
On a positive note, I'm happy to report the feature film I'm starring in is doing very well at the box office, "How to Train Your Dragon".
It's an epic and heartwarming tale that sheds light on the souls and good nature of sorely misunderstood animals. It's a cause close to my heart. I think I'll look for more projects similar to this one in the future. I sent James Cameron my headshot, I think he'll be moved by animal rights soon enough.
