I mean snow, not crack cocaine.
So this may sound like complete and utter bullshit, but I went downhill skiing the other day...in Kansas, home of flat lands and flatter lands. About 20 years ago, some wannabe x-gamer found the only clump of not flat land and decided to make a "ski lodge" out of it, and use corn to make snow. How, you ask? I couldn't tell you. I would've used newspaper shavings or cat litter.
Nonetheless, adventurous Midwesterners now have a downhill sanctuary. And I do mean "hill". Not "mountain".
To prove how Xtreme I am now, here's a video of my mad skills. (Note: this felt a lot more impressive than it looks):
Did you see that guy almost plow me?! I'm happy to report that he fell immediately after he skiid offscreen.
But here's my crowning glory of the day:
Try THAT next time you're in Vail.
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