Airport Appreciation

So I've recently spent more time than usual at airports and I've come to appreciate a few things that may normally go unnoticed by the average passerby:



MOVING SIDEWALKS


When walking just won't cut it, hop on a moving sidewalk. You've got two options here. Option 1.) You can stand still and let laziness consume you. If you choose this option, at least put both arms up in the air like you're on a roller coaster. Just be sure to stand to the right for people who've chosen option 2. Option 2.) You can walk at normal speed or faster and feel the wind in your hair, like the Bionic Woman. Go go gadget power walking! The only thing that may make this better is if it were sprung. Either option you choose, take proper procautions when exiting the moving sidewalk as even the suavest of suave have awkwardly lost their footing when returning to normal biped propellation.



AIRPORT FASHIONS

I once received a picture message from a sly little bird of a t-shirt with a weiner dog on it with text reading "I long to be with you." I also saw a hilarious kiosk of bedazzled faces of presidential candidates. It's almost a cruel way to point out people who've lost their luggage or their flights have been cancelled and they've been forced to guy these terrible fashions.

PEOPLE WATCHING

That gentleman running with his laptop case, business tie flying over his shoulder, trying to catch his connecting flight. That woman that insists on carrying on EVERYTHING because she's lost other luggage on numerous occasions. That guy who stands at the front of the baggage claim, convinced that his suitcase will be first. That little girl gypsy dancing in an Ariel outfit. Those people reuniting at the at the arrivals gate (my faves). That group of high schoolers on a band trip deciding whose hotel rooms they would sneak into later. That family with too many kids and the parents who are seriously regretting their family vacation. That guy who's asleep at the gate and you really can't tell how long he's been there. Maybe you should check for a pulse.

SAFETY INFORMATION PAMPHLETS


Precautionary diagrams have never been funnier. Next time you're on a plane, take a gander at the safety pamphlet and then take a look around and tell me if you can find anyone on the plane dressed like the drawn people inside the card, specifically the children. Those children are always dressed like adults. Hilarious. At least they're racially diverse. Equal opportunity animation. It's also highly unrealistic how calm they all are. I would LOVE to be that safety information pamphlet artist who draws passengers lifelike in the event that the oxygen masks DO drop or the plane IS on fire/floating in the ocean. There would be babies crying, that guy's on his cell phone, that lady is praying on her rosary as those two are trying to not die virgins...