on another note...

So I've come to realize pretty much all of my posts are about PostSecret. Blogging about other blogs seems like a cop out. Whatever, at least I'm posting more frequently than Bry....

So I'd like to take this post to say that I'm SO EXCITED TO GO TO NEW YORK TOMORROW.

I like to think of this trip as a pilgrimage more than a vacation. I've got a lot on my clipboard of fun, but what I really want out of this trip is to feel like a New Yorker for even the tiniest moment. Whether that means yelling at a car that "I'm walkin 'ere!", getting on a subway without having to look at a map, or eating the best pizza and cupcakes in the world, I won't know until I get there. But I'm stoked. Let the journey begin...

I love you, Bry. Get off your couch and finish packing.

PostSecret Faves

Okay, this week's PostSecret was really good. They're funny, sad, intriguing, gross, everything you could ask for. So it was hard to pick ones that were my favorites, but I somehow managed.


One of MY biggest fears is that I'll be in that bathroom when the wrong person walks in. Or that I'll walk in while the wrong person has been in there, if you know what I mean...




I'll think of this next time someone says "I don't remember names, but I remember faces..."





People clumsiness has never stopped: Katy Perry, Beyonce, Kelsey Grammar, Brandon Nobles...


My Secret of the week:

I'm irritated by people who wear sunglasses inside or at night. I automatically think they're up to no good because they're making it obvious that they don't want to connect with other people. It's shady...literally.

PostSecret faves...belated

This PostSecret review was delayed simply because all of the secrets this week were about love. Consequently, when I was done reading all of them, I felt bitter and unmotivated to go about my life. It took me all week to get over it. I'm sill working on it. Here's what I've come up with:

I'm gonna start writing subliminal messages into PB&Js from now on: "I'm awesome", "Recycle", "Read my blog", etc.

Here it is. The bitter representation of single people on this tragic day.

Isn't this how it really happens? It's the only moment when laissez-faire and panic find common ground.

My secret of the week:

Two moments in life that make me always want a boyfriend are when I'm watching fireworks and when I'm carrying in my groceries.

To test your patience...

So I'm at Barnes & Nobles today and I can't find a book. So, after scouring through all of the sections I THINK it would be, I swallow my pride and go to the customer service counter to bother someone else with my troubles. The desk itself is not intimidating, nor is it inconvenient to find. However, what is daunting is the lack of customer service. No one was there. Just three empty computers and me. So I wait. Surely someone is bound to return after successfully helping someone else. There's a man with a nametag all the way across the store in the music section that sees me. He smiles. A lady walks by, also wearing a nametag. She slows and asks if I'm waiting to be helped. I say yes, when suddenly a loud radio goes off announcing there's someone waiting to be helped at the customer service desk at the same time a third lady swoops in to my rescue. I didn't see the music department man use any radio, and the other ladies didn't have radios, which leads me to believe someone else was watching from somewhere else. And that freaked me out.

This is not a very good story, but it made me think of those bells that say "ring for service". I think these bells, as convenient as they may be, are very rude. Nothing says "impatient" like ringing a service bell, no matter how polite the angelic belltone sounds. If there was one at this customer service desk, I probably would not have rang it. Good thing someone's always watching at Barnes & Nobles.

Oh, and they didn't even have what I was looking for. Figures.

Log 4

Bad news, readers. The vacuum cleaner is fixed. Two days ago, I was filled with false hope when many people larger than my captor entered the residence and ensnared the vacuum, leading me to believe they were conquering it and ridding my miserable life of its loud noise and threat to suck out my soul. Howsoe'er, I was decieved. The vacuum was mearly returned to its previous state of hunger. How long must this go on? Fear not, I'm once again on high alert as I've taken to remaining perched in tall places until Medusa charges at me, roaring the phrase "KITTYGETDOWN!" I'm sure that means something...

P.S. I'm still dealing with the singing frog.

The Dirt Devil has been exorcized

So my folks came into town this week and along with their hugs and laughter and three buck chuck (yessssss), they also brought me a new band for my vacuum. I wasn't about to try and fix it myself (see post entitled "Probaby a bad idea"), so they took over. A few q-tips, some cooking oil, and a butter knife later, I had a new vacuum. I guess every family has a MacGyver.

Sunday Sunday Sunday.

Ladies and Jellyspoons, it's PostSecret day. Here are my faves, such as I promised.

Some things you can't control. Some things you must offer up to the hilarious gods.

How else would they know about the He-Man underpants, the thumb-sucking, and the stack of porn....i mean...what?



I'm sure someone somewhere on the Enterprise thought they, too, had a crappy job at one point. Just goes to show you never know who's admiring you...

And my secret for the week:

Whenever I'm doing my ribbon wand routine in Block Party, I pretend all the scooter boys going by are racecars and I'm the sexy checkered flag girl.

Throwback

Listen. JT said he was bringing "sexy" back. To be honest, I was unaware that "sexy" had left. So before JT, was I thinking I was occasionally sexy, but in fact, was not? How embarrassing. Moving on, I've come to realize there are a few blasts from the past that need to make a comeback. Here's the short list:

Dangerous playgrounds

Because safety is not fun. The more old tires and rusty screws and tetanus, the better.

This Songlist

1. Aquarius/Let the Sunshine In: This is one of the only non-sexual songs I can think of where clothing is optional.

2. The entire Jagged Little Pill album: These emotions will never go out of style. And every time I scratch my nails down someone else's back, he will feel it.


3. Benny and the Jets: 27 Dresses made an attempt to spotlight this jam. I caught on.

4. The Hustle: One the whole family can dance to, regardless of who knows the actual dance. And don't act like you don't love whispering "Do it."

5. Copacabana: What a gripping tale about Lola the showgirl. And a very catchy bongo line. Even the most uncoordinated people can suddenly salsa when this one pops up.

6. All Night Long: For whatever reason I think of the Flintstones dancing with a sombrero. idk. But this is a great song.

7. Time of the Season: This song is hot. I can't put my finger on the why, but it's hot in a dark hallway, catwalking, put down your cocktail kind of a way.

Spats

Stop cringing because they remind you of Mary Poppins and/or Trolley. You love your jobs. Focus on the spats. I'm planning on single-handedly bringing back spats. How dapper and classy and stylish are these smart shoe items? And they can instantly turn a pair of pumps into boots! I love them.

PostSecret

It's SuperBowl Sunday! Which means....PostSecret has some fresh new secrets to share with the world. (I actually don't really care about the SuperBowl. Sorry.) So here are my faves and what I have to say about them:
I'm that way about brushing my teeth. But I'm rarely in this predicament, so....

I just got a package of empty wine bottles. That would've pissed him off.

OR Mercury in retrograde!!!

And my secret of the week:

The smell of automobile exhaust makes me kind of excited because I think I'm somewhere important enough for there to be a lot of traffic...like New York City.

It's a new day...

It's okay, guys. Mercury is no longer in retrograde. Which means one less excuse to be an a**hole. But you can all come out of your homes now. Until May. Then it happens again.