Hello, Siri. Hello, Mrs. Captain America.

So vlogging might be my thing. But I don't like the word vlog because it wounds like a bodily function. I prefer "moving picture memoir."
Here's the second installment outlining my wishlist for the new iPhone5...

I hope this video acts as a copyright so no one steals my ideas....

It's a coming of age story...

It's a story of progress, of trials and tribulations. Of fears and doubts. Of vulnerability and hopes for approval....
The day I put out my first video blog.

And it goes a little something like this:

I'll get the hang of it.
Hopefully better than I've grasped the hang of writing more often. #SObadatthat

May the odds be ever in my favor...

Allow me to put down the paper bag I've been breathing into for the past two weeks in anticipation of and experiencing the first installment of the Hunger Games films to write a post. I'm such a huge fan. Don't know why I'm so emotionally invested in the story, maybe because I'm inspired by ordinary people being badasses, but the mere mention of the story or the characters renders me practically fetal.

This gets me thinking....how would I fare were I forced into a technologically controlled environment forced to survive against my own generation of trained killers not to mention the genetically altered elements all for the amusement of the over-privileged? Dramatic, I know. So I've compiled a list entitled:

HOW AND WHY I WOULD WIN THE HUNGER GAMES

1.) I act like I'm asleep when I'm not.

Fight or Flight....or act like you're asleep. In this case, act like you're dead. This would only work during the initial bloodbath at the cornucopia. I'd just act like I was dead and then roll away while everyone else was still fighting and no one would notice until I was long gone.

2.) I'd sing during my interviews.

Oh Heeeeyyy, fabulous sponsors!! If we can compare the Hunger Games to, say, American Idol, there's something wired in people to like other people who sing. That's not scientific, it's just observation.

3.) I'm resourceful.

Who can make a cat shelter out of a cardboard dress form?? My cat. But that's exactly my point. I think like a cat.

4.) I cover up my tracks and I'm a master of disguise.

When I was but a child, I used to sneak out of bed after my parents tucked me in and I would play dress-up and whatnot BUT I knew light was shining from underneath my door so shoved stuffed animals in front of the door crack so I went unnoticed. I wouldn't DREAM of lighting a fire at night. Sorry boutcha, girl from 10 or whatever... One night, I even ventured out to the stairs in my best dress-up getup (mostly dance recital costumes) and convinced my mom I was an orphan and needed a glass of water. She totally bought it..... (thanks for playing along, Mom)

5.) I'm not picky with meals.

I had five chips and a beer for dinner last night. Boosh.

And when all was said and done and victorious, I'd decorate my house in the Victor's Village according to the best quirky and quaint design elements I've found on Pinterest. And have lots of animals.

And my post-games talent would be cat whispering. And dress-up.

Were the odds ever in my favor....

Thirteen months later...

Let me begin with a haiku.

A haiku can't say
how long since I've posted here
I watched YouTube cats.

I was busy with other things besides watching cats on YouTube. I mean, I showered a few times. Said some funny one-liners.

But I digress, my last post was thirteen months ago, and I'm happy to note that it began with a cat picture. Well played, Erin. But I've missed writing. I've missed sharing the strange things that happen inside my head, like how I've made a game of assigning celebrity parents to people based on looks, like how my favorite part of my day is when four year olds tell me their favorite dinosaur is a T-Rex, like why those people at this Starbucks patio just stared at me for too long to be publicly acceptable. And now I'm wondering if I have banana walnut bread all over my face. Or if there's a small finch on my head. Or if I made a bodily function that I didn't hear because of my ear buds (rock on, Sinatra Pandora). I mean, why else would that guy have straight up craned his head up and over the wicker couch to assess me? I must look like I'm on tv....

Look at me, digressing again. The point is I found it important to blog again. My cat, Sofia Loren, whom you may recall from her own blog series, will mostly likely emerge after her blogging hiatus as well. What a follower.