May the odds be ever in my favor...

Allow me to put down the paper bag I've been breathing into for the past two weeks in anticipation of and experiencing the first installment of the Hunger Games films to write a post. I'm such a huge fan. Don't know why I'm so emotionally invested in the story, maybe because I'm inspired by ordinary people being badasses, but the mere mention of the story or the characters renders me practically fetal.

This gets me thinking....how would I fare were I forced into a technologically controlled environment forced to survive against my own generation of trained killers not to mention the genetically altered elements all for the amusement of the over-privileged? Dramatic, I know. So I've compiled a list entitled:

HOW AND WHY I WOULD WIN THE HUNGER GAMES

1.) I act like I'm asleep when I'm not.

Fight or Flight....or act like you're asleep. In this case, act like you're dead. This would only work during the initial bloodbath at the cornucopia. I'd just act like I was dead and then roll away while everyone else was still fighting and no one would notice until I was long gone.

2.) I'd sing during my interviews.

Oh Heeeeyyy, fabulous sponsors!! If we can compare the Hunger Games to, say, American Idol, there's something wired in people to like other people who sing. That's not scientific, it's just observation.

3.) I'm resourceful.

Who can make a cat shelter out of a cardboard dress form?? My cat. But that's exactly my point. I think like a cat.

4.) I cover up my tracks and I'm a master of disguise.

When I was but a child, I used to sneak out of bed after my parents tucked me in and I would play dress-up and whatnot BUT I knew light was shining from underneath my door so shoved stuffed animals in front of the door crack so I went unnoticed. I wouldn't DREAM of lighting a fire at night. Sorry boutcha, girl from 10 or whatever... One night, I even ventured out to the stairs in my best dress-up getup (mostly dance recital costumes) and convinced my mom I was an orphan and needed a glass of water. She totally bought it..... (thanks for playing along, Mom)

5.) I'm not picky with meals.

I had five chips and a beer for dinner last night. Boosh.

And when all was said and done and victorious, I'd decorate my house in the Victor's Village according to the best quirky and quaint design elements I've found on Pinterest. And have lots of animals.

And my post-games talent would be cat whispering. And dress-up.

Were the odds ever in my favor....